When you start telling people “I’ll Facebook you” instead of “I’ll see you around”, its time to face reality and accept that you are the latest victim of the FAD – Facebook addiction disorder.
Just the other day, I read that Facebook was going to enforce Timelines on everybody by 2nd February.
My first reaction? Panic!
Why, you ask? I had to choose a new cover photo you see! I had to find an appropriate picture with the perfect dimensions – something that made me look cool without making it seem that I tried too hard. With so many conditions to fulfill, panic was an obvious reaction.
So you think I’m overdramatizing things?
Good morning Facebook!
Don’t tell me you don’t start your day with Facebook. That you don’t log in at wee hours to check what your friends have been up to. Or that you don’t spy around your ex’s profiles to see whether they’ve been poking random people.
What is the first thing you do once you get up? Brush? Pick up the newspaper? Get a cup of chai? Head to the loo? Or do you, like me, head straight to your laptop? Before I have even finished rubbing the sleep away from my eyes, I’m on my wall, wondering what all happened in my friends’ lives while I slept.
On most days, there are no new friend requests, no new messages and no new notifications. Disappointment hits me when I realize that none of my 500+ friends missed me (at least on Facebook) for eight whole hours!!
It’s just a FAD
I then spend a good half an hour surfing through my news feed, checking out random pictures and statuses people put up. I login again from my phone and then from work and then again when I’m home! Sound familiar? I’m not surprised. FAD or Facebook Addiction Disorder has just started to gain momentum as the newest disorder to hit the town!
If you are still not convinced, check your browser. Do you have Facebook open on multiple tabs? Do you keep hitting refresh to update your newsfeed? Do 8 out of 10 of your friends seem unknown to you? Do you keep checking your status update and get disappointed if no one “likes“it or comments on it? You my friend, may be afflicted with FAD!
Don’t worry, there’s help at hand! If you think things are spiralling out of control, just add a cute and simple reminder, like a cross on the back side of your hand. Every time you reach for your laptop, you’ll be reminded why you put it there. Trust me, it acts more as a deterrent than as a reminder. Just decreasing the frequency with which you check Facebook helps too. Every minute you spend away from your computer and Facebook helps you overcome FAD!
All addicts are not born equal
To make it easier, I’ve listed out some common types of Facebook addicts. Take a look and see if you can spot yourself!
The lurkers: These are the ones who see everything, read everything but leave no sign that they were ever online. No comments, no shares, heck, these people don’t even hit the like button!
The likers: Speaking of the like button, there are those who seem to hit the like button for everything they see. At their worst, they may end up liking their own status messages!
The attention seekers: These people are always active on Facebook. These people upload pictures, put up status messages with an alarming regularity and usually have more than 1000+ friends.
The gamers: These are the people who flood your newsfeed with random requests from Farmville, Castleville, Mafia wars and the likes. They may even invite you to be their neighbours or join their gang!
Are you one of them?
Experts say the first step to solving a problem is admitting to it. So if you did find yourself in the list above, take a deep breath and repeat after me, I’m I’m(insert your name here) and I’m a Facebook addict.
Now go to your wall and do a status update about it. I know you’re dying to.
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