Would you marry a non-virgin?

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A big hullabaloo is raised every time the topic of virginity is raised. Would you consider marrying a non-virgin?

Would you marry a non-virgin?

We went out and asked young India whether they would consider marrying non-virgins. Their answers surprised us!

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Like a virgin

For centuries, across cultures, virginity has been equated with goodness and virtue. The act of “saving” yourself for the one you marry was a testament to your character and good upbringing.

As time went on, the premium placed on virginity reduced. Today, most of the western world does not consider virginity an important trait in a partner and having sex before marriage is perfectly acceptable, and often, even expected.

Remember “The 40-year-old virgin”, a movie about a man who was 40, and horrors of horrors, a virgin?

Imagine trying to make that movie in India. Safe to say, it would probably not have gotten as many laughs here.

Virginity in India

Ours is a country that still values it’s purity and likes its young men and women to be untouched before they get married. There are mothers-in-law who excel in the art of conducting the “virginity test” – a spot examination that includes going into the bedroom of a newlywed couple the morning after their first night together and checking for blood stains on the bed sheets – stains that were purportedly left by the torn hymen of a virginal bride.

Of course, now, things are changing. Sex between unmarried couples is on the rise and many Indian metros are seeing men and women opting to live-in together without the bond of holy matrimony. Even amongst those who are open to sex before marriage, attitudes vary wildly – from those who see it as an expression of true and undying love to others who view it as a recreational activity between two consenting adults.

And then there are those who draw a line between ‘fun’ and ‘marriage’. Men and women (mostly men) who believe that while it’s all right to sow your wild oats and all that, when it comes to marriage, only a virgin will do.

So would you marry a non-virgin?

We asked a few people on their views on the subject. Would they marry someone who they knew for sure was not a virgin?

The reactions we got revealed a mostly sexually-liberated lot.

Who cares!

For some of those we interviewed, their partners’ sexual past was inconsequential. Like one young man said, “If she’s a virgin, good for her. If she’s not, good for her. It wouldn’t matter anyway.”

I wouldn’t marry a virgin!

One young man categorically stated that he would not marry someone who was a virgin. The idea of being his partner’s first and only sexual partner didn’t appeal to him in the least.

Another girl laughed at the thought of marrying a virgin. To her, sexual experience would make things easier for the couple.

And then there was the young lady who reckoned that she’d probably get married around the age of 30. And the idea of marrying a 30 something male who was a virgin sent her into a fit of giggles.

So where do you stand on the subject and marriage and virginity? Tell us in the comments section.

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  1. Raju says:

    where is virgin anyway ?

  2. vivek says:

    do we have a choice in today’s scenario?


  3. V Pandya says:

    Well it seems that mankind is gradually getting closer to the animal kingdom. There may come a time when a female is pursued by 3-4-7 suitors or maybe 10 and the strongest guy takes her. God knows where u guys are headed to………

  4. 25 Sudipto says:

    Today’s is a independent world for both sex’s. So everbody is self supported and fulfill their wishes with no second thought. So I would rather not expect to marry a virgin and had no second thought to marry a non-virgin.

  5. Drkpsingh10 says:

    if u ram u will find sita,……..first think about yourself then your  partner this is long term story or contract this is totally a personal choice in society.think sexuality,nudity,homosexual,sex before marriage,multiple partners,girl / boy friends these will matter after the age 60 AND 70 WHEN U REALLy NEED SOME ONE WHO REALLY LOVE without SEX AND  MONEY  in later 4th part of life after 75 years…U CAN REALIZE MISTAKES OF  YOUNG HOOD…… DR K P SINGH ;  drkpsingh10@gmail.com welcome views.

  6. HAS says:

    Never… As per our thought, No one can tolrate that his sister/doughter can slept with some one even 4 one night before married. So how can I accept it for me. 

  7. Pankaj says:

    virginity is too important….. but not than person…… but she have to understand that in future she wont repeat mistake…

  8. Soumya Pillai15 says:

    yes i like it and it was a stupid thing,

    i wish each and every men and women are freebride before marriage and after marriage

  9. Aajay Kumar says:

    this is absolutely ridiculous..the fool will marry a non virgin.its lyk cheating with your partner

  10. Mihirkumar kapadia says:

    yes ,i can ,because in marry life its not important to be virgin..there r so many factor to enjoy the marredge life.

  11. Pravincochin says:

    why not i believe that a relationship starts from when they get married….we must be faithful after marriage……

  12. Prashant Tiwari1979 says:

    To be a virgin is actually someone who has not done the sexual activities. Ya its true, that we indians beleive that the person should not lose his or her virginity before marriage. But if you say that for checking that the girl should be checked by doing so many types of methods then that is not acceptable, because the hymen can break for many reasons. Even it is being said that the charm is only felt when it is not tested or done earlier. This is the main reason nowadays that marriages are broken because there is nothing left for doing as every thing is done in earlier periods only.

  13. Vickysidhu says:

    I will never marry a non vergin

    1. Charlestv says:

      will you prove your virginity to your partner?

    2. guest says:

      You will get to know only after marriage, whether or not she is a virgin ;)

  14. Aanilbansal says:

    no never coz i thought a partner should be loyal

    1. Charlestv says:

      can you swear that you have kept yourself loyal to your would be who you don’t even know exists? 

    2. Moumitachoudhary says:

      The loyalty should matter most from your heart ….physical loyalty hardly matters when it comes to long term relationship.

  15. Sudesh says:

    no never…. thats y our indian culture differ from the western…….

    its not even imaginable for us….. both ladies and gents……..

  16. smile says:

    After mirrage doesn’t matter if she or he is virgin or non-virgin so decide before mirage whether to marry or not  if u know he or she is non-virgin.Virginity doesn’t matter understanding and caring is important than virginity.

  17. Sonivivek24 says:

    Virgin Life Partner, not non-virgin.

  18. Moumitachoudhary says:

    The virginity hardly matters…The mind and heart of your partner is the one which should matter…he / she should be absolutely fresh in her mind set   

  19. Chotubhargav_karanam says:

    bulllshit…….i will never marry  a non virgin girl. is sex that compulsory for her before marriage…if she or he not sticking with culture and values…how can she lead her family…..its better to be bachelor instead of marrying a non virgin girl or boy…

    1. affu says:

      good answer friend….

    2. Sinha Kanak84 says:

      Please go through the contemporary texts -like-Cultural studies/theory or study Feminism…….

      1. bitdefender says:

        Feminism has destroyed more families than any other ism. Feminist are bane on the society. They don’t want equality but a superior status for women and complete degradation of men. They are no better than the male chauvinist only worst. Feminism isn’t Equalism. Both Male Chauvinists and feminists must be burnt at stake………..so that world may have some peace!!!And absolutely won’t marry a non-virgin…….as they are not Indian but pseudo-westernersThere is nothing liberating about sex before marriage…….The so called liberated people……..die a rather remorseful death…………doubt me …..just chat with Oldies of US………..you’ll get the idea(they were liberated generation – they were from the 60ies)

  20. Rahul says:


  21. Ahkpillai says:

    I have already crossed the age and I am not worried as I got no choice either way.

  22. Cjayaramjayaram says:

    Vivek is right. After couple of years it will be impossible to get a virgin and some body has to be content remaining a bachelor /virgin if he wants to marry a virgin. Olden days when  contraceptives  were  not there and a taboo on  unmarried pregnant  women. That was the reason for virginity. Even 50 years back any man would have hacd sex with atleast 5 women before getting married. So where is Equality and justice for women. Only fear in marrying a non virgin would be that if the previous accomplice was better in the bed then every chance you loose your wife and head for a divorce.

  23. Kairavbhavsar says:

    I will because,m not a virgin so how can i expect a non- virgin partner

  24. affu says:

    one who can control over their desires are only have rite to be anyone’s  wife or husband…….they only can prove the loyalty not the one who play behinds you and sleep with every random one

  25. bobby says:

    I want to ask tht person who has posted this question, have you married a non-virgin girl, and will you make ur children too marry a non-virgin person???

    Just dont sit and post question which are meaningless… Improve something whc can our thinking!!!,, More persons will not marry a non-virgin!!! Specailly boys!

  26. sunkan says:

    with so many divorcees on the prowl to settle down don’t you think this survey is a little too late in coming…i find it funny here..

  27. Tejesh4u says:

    virginity matters for a long lasting trustful relationship…

  28. Rohit Singh says:

    Now why do you ask me this question?This is not as innocuous as you make it sound.
    What if I tell you that if I dare air  my true views   in a public forum, I fear that , I would  be a big let down to my’ liberated’ friends and peers. I fear of being mocked at and  being called a nerd and a moron, by my friends and group. The young and happening social group,by the values of which,i am always trying to fit in, so desperately .So you see, by telling the truth,I fear of being ‘found out’ as a small town mentality person, an imposter and a looser.An outsider and an intruder in this modern and liberated metro city.I cannot muster up enough courage, to be singled out. One of  my worst nighmares is of  not being included, in the group of happening, modern, and cool, young group.
    So I do the next best thing .
    I am posting my comment with a pseudonym. And the truth is that I am a young 27 years virgin, by choice, .A fact which I have kept hidden even with my close companions in my group, where I pose as being ‘sxperienced’. And a fact which I plan  to keep secret with my prospective better half,only to protect & project a modern,  and a macho image before her. Otherwise, as you have written, she will secretly laugh, and actually feel let down for having married an in-experienced looser.
    And lastly to answer your question , yes, I would only like to marry a virgin, and a virgin only .Somehow, I cannot unshackle my conservative Indian middle class values,that virginity  really is a significant, if not final indicator of character and morality.And I know, that I have at best, only meager chances of actually ending up marrying a virgin.So why not make a virtue out of necessity, and be a part of young vibrant and liberated youngistan, socially.
    Speaing the hidden truth , already makes me feel good.
    Truth, i.e Satya really liberates, and I hope that it prevails too.
    You may say, I am a looser, but I am not the only one.
                               Rohit Singh ( Still not liberated)

  29. Sudhir says:

    ahhh…how can i know whether the girl m going to marry is virgin or not….as far as indian culture is concern i think i cant…if I ask the same ….i think i couldn’t marry any girl..am I right..????

  30. MK says:

    Yes, I would. In fact I have done knowingly my partner’s past and have completed 30 yrs. of happy married life. What do you mean by viriginity – Virginity is not in sex, but in mind, thought and heart. First of all, can you confidently say you are a virgin? If you are really a Virgin, you will definitely find one. Marriage is an institution which is built on love, compatibility, understanding and trust. Past is past. Virginity hardly matters, but the person should be faithful after marriage that is all.

  31. Srisuneel says:

    no chance

  32. Das Rana16 says:

    No, becouse Virgin is our indian’s girls respect for won culture and family before marry. so i respect our indian virgin girls. (I proude of our culture and our Indian girls/women this is a basic difrence of indian and western calture.)  

  33. Souravmalik says:

    now a days its does not matter bcoz u can check it on the girls but it is not acceptable in the society & by the law also but for mens we dont have any test through we can prove that he is a virgin or not…..i think it is a bond of believe & love so should trust our partner & we should not cheat our partner after the marriage………so its does not matter………now a days we can see all the boys & girls have their partner in the age of 15-16 so there is no question of virginity………..who is virgin till the marriage??????no body………..u can do a survey also & i am sure you will get that the 90 percent girls & boys lose their virginity till the age of 18-20…..

  34. Suryan1979 says:

    first of all the question is nonsense, Indian girls don like sex they like shopping and traveling and non-virginity before marriage is something like alien culture to Indian women’s,Indian guys don worry you all will get virgin girls

    1. Tatahoneywell24 says:

      i am ready

  35. sriram says:

    There are more relevant issues about virginity than just tradition and conservatism.

    Health issues are a major factor.  It is like eating a lollypop that has been licked by many others.  A non-virgin could be having STD’s or even HIV….or even oral cancers, in case of unnatural sexual practices.

    Secondly, a person who has premarital sex could be a person who has no sexual control or sexual morals and is therefore more likely to have extramarital sex also. It is unlikely that a person who has had many partners before marriage would stick to one partner thereafter.

    It is also possible that a person who has had sex before marriage has made false promises to others and is even cheating the person who he/she is marrying. Some of his/her earlier partners could still be in touch with him/her and could create problems after marriage. The woman could have become pregnant and aborted. The man might have forced his girlfriend to abort her child.

    Traditions and social discipline are not without purpose and meaning. We should take them seriously.  

    We are free to live as we want……but we are never free from the consequences. 


  36. abcd xyz says:

    “W’ da f**k” this guy here is saying ?? n’ u @ mDhil wrote his S#*t opinion as a whole para in yahoo health article…what are you trying to promote {smells naughty intentions still we do support u on this :P ;) }
    He sure looks for ready-made, instant products over self-cooking stuff ;) ;)…Well if u ain’t got analogy…chuck it!!
    You @mDhil if you really want to make a point on public opinion…make a proper survey or conduct a polling or just a simple question on facebook will do…
    As a regular reader here i must say i am disappointed on quality of your article, making it based on 3-4 ppl interview?
    Please respect your users intelligence…thanks

  37. Akhilesh tiwari says:

    i will defenetly not marry to non virgin…

  38. Shekhar Sudhanshu74 says:

    never ever ….I wont 

  39. Anjali says:

    I think we should share everything to our partner before marriage. It doesn’t matter if you are virgin or not. The main think is love,trust and respect towards our partner. If after marriage  there is any other relationship then its not acceptable. Why only girls are tested? Why not boys? If test has to be done then it should be done with both girl and boy. If we really love, respect and trust each other then no broken relationship will be there.

  40. Gudalorevrao says:

    It is all about character of a person. If no emphasis is laid on virginity of both male and female then mankind is close to animal kingdom. This might sound oldish but yes it applies to both the sexes, virginity is important. 

  41. D Nikhade says:

    if she has good nature ..then i am ready to marry

    1. Sri says:

      If she is a good natured gal, why the hell would she have sex before marriage

  42. Guest says:

    i will not marry a non virgin anyway

  43. Arnab Mondal17 says:

    NO ,thinking all the time that your wife slept with somebody will eat you constantly

  44. Shoeb says:

    The person who has written this post i guess his parents never taught him any moral values as i guess even they might not have them and its very likely that his family’s passion is having sex with someone and marrying someone else. This person is trying to plant a seed of western immorality like his family must be following into the minds of us Indians.. Who ever has written or asked this question, keep this question safe cause you might need it to ask your future son in law..

  45. Shoeb says:

    So why dont you marry a prostitute and show us how well you stand by your statement???

    1. Sinha Kanak84 says:

      Please we shouldn’t forget that Prostitute &  Prostitution is made by us only…….i.e so-called our civilized society….!!!!

  46. Anant Eflssd says:

    dont belive on smiling face , belive on smiling heart  because this is rare in this world , So i am ready to marry with non virgin.

  47. Mrao1976 says:


  48. play boy says:

    then what about 2nd marriages

  49. guest says:


  50. A123 says:

    it is not matter of virginity of girl, it is matter of loyalty. the girl who went on bed with someone, it means she is loyal to him and both are in confidence. now when it comes to another man, can this loyalty and confidence be 100%. never it is always less. it is also applicable for man. when a couple married, it is not the body that get in connection, their every secret, every thought, everything should get one. but in above case it is not possible at all, as everything is shared but remain hidden. result breakup of marriage, killing by boyfriend/girl friend, blackmailing and most important life of children born got in dark(as whose the are no one knows and no one accept even after knowing). we can easily say that it does not matter as we are modern, westernized. but it is not modernization, it is fooling each other. sex before marriage is not bad, but they should got married each other or if not going to marry, should not fool others.

  51. Pinkib_7676 says:

    Yes I definitely prefer virgin girl. If she virgin she will be faithful after marriage

  52. Rishabh pathak says:

    never ! 

  53. Rakeshsarwan1 says:

    Who cares………Don’t look in past…just live in present and future…Now the time has come to change our mind…..

  54. dj_dinuk says:

    in today world i belive out of 100%  around 40% boys and gilrs lose there virginity at school time  and colleage time mostely and its now a common thing to do sex and now days generation is very frank and advance so its doest matter to them.
                            i aslo have experince of this becoz i love one girl for 12 years and after that i got her and  we are in relation for 8 or 9 month only then we break up and she got marryed with some one else .But we did wht we dont have to but its ok …….
               so i dont think you will find virgin ppartner at today world very easy way you have to be lucky or dont accept any thing its doesnt matter take it as cool as you can …….
                   dinesh chand  rajput

  55. Dass says:

    I’LL MARRY ONLY A VIRGIN GIRL… And this is our culture tooo..
    These magazine people should keep this in account and to promote this to the teens and ppl before marriage.

    but there are some magazines and websites promote as indian girls and boys donot care about virginity nowadays. These People must be stopped promoting such things.Please don’t spoil indian society AND ITS CULTURE.

  56. RoaringBull says:

    Righto buddy.I second you with all emphasis.Because non virgins always have a smiling heart.You bet it.To add to this, the fact is that they inevitably have a smiling face too.And Virgins,They have none.

  57. nitin thukral says:

    Many people those who laugh on this statement even being an Indian
    actually they think themselves a very modern people, and that’s why they
    are in favor of this illegal thing (SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE), Yes having a
    sex is itself a good experience so why to enjoy it with one who is not
    your life partner, we are the youth of our country which is known by its
    culture, so why should we spoil our image by following this western
    culture,people in the western countries do it bcoz it is accepted by
    their society & parents and thats why it is rgt for them. CAN ANY
    is in physical relationship with some one. And in simple words if any
    boy/girl can cheat their parents, they can cheat their life partner in
    the future also.

    Its time to rethink on it, please if you are educated dont show your
    advance opinion here and dnt laugh on it, or in other way dnt cheat
    yourself. because enjoyment before marriage can become the reason of
    unhappily married life. Now we have to choose weather we go for the
    live-in relationship which has been made by man on the earth or Holy
    Marriage which has been made by God in the Heaven. Plz dnt break the

    Some one is there for you plz dnt cheat him/her……  

    1. Arushi says:

      Quite an interesting thoguht Mr Thukral. But few question for you….
      1) Sex before marrige is Illegal?! Under which law?
      2) How many people do you know who discuss their marital sexual relationship with their parents? Then why the question of discussing their sexual relationship before marrige?
      3) How do you defy having a physical relationship outside of marriage “cheating” your parents? If i have to go by that argument then dating before marriage can also be considered as “cheating” you parents
      4) What do you mean by “Dont Compete with God” ?! :D
      People are not laughing because they are educated, they are laughing at someone like you who IS educated but still belives in a narrow frame of mind. And by that i dont mean what you believe about yourself but what you THINK is the Indian culture and thrust it on others as Facts.

  58. APRICHIT says:

    what happen when u slept with some one else before marriege…she also be a siste daughter of somone & supposed to marry someone like you.

  59. Ammu H says:

    WTF i want virgin gal only i wont marry non virgin 

  60. Ammu H says:

    gals are the most idiots and culprits .
    They only responsible for loosing theirs as well as boys loosing theirs virginity
    if they are strict at their extent no boy will loose their  virginity…they are the real culprits in
    this matter. I hate the gals who involves in sex b4 marriage.

    1. Arushi says:

      WOW….so as per you your and any guy’s action are basically dictated by another (a girl in this case) and not your own rational thinking brain (if it even exists). How about live and let live….. if you dont believe in sex before marrige….thats your choice. dont dictate your views on others

  61. moser says:

    I would prefer a non-virgin only. In my opinion both men and women must experience sex before marriage, for the simple reason late marriages. 

  62. krishna karthik says:

    In My View Virginity Is Something That Is Associated With Ego,Self Fulfillment,Personal Faith.So The Main Predicament For The One(Male And Female) To Marry A Non-Virgin Is The Inconvenience,Feeling Of Guilty For Having To Loose Or Damage His/Her Ego Even Though He/She Is Also A Non-Virgin.If This Is Not The Case Then Comes The “Compromise”.

  63. SALMAAN says:

    Never do marry who has loose his/her virginity.

  64. SALMAAN says:

    If you are doing a marry with Non virgin it means. you can be worlds foulest person because unwanted problem is behind of you. 

  65. SALMAAN says:

    Doing a marry to virgin men or women it means he has a capacity to keep safe his/her self. and for better future with god grace and for faithfuls and lovable life.

  66. SALMAAN says:

    Who men or women says, getting married at the age of approximate 30year. it have already plan to do sex with someone else and they think this is right to do if you have no problem, so because of thinking as a selfish, so being a self fish you loose you virginity and you can do anything for your happiness. So never believe these kind of person, because in sex situation experience with someone is harmful. because you will compare your sex practice with others and if your partner will not satisfy you as your ex partner it means you hate your life partner. so Now can think for your better future.

  67. SALMAAN says:

    i am agree with prashant tiwari, Because new think Give excitement to do but experience in sex try to discovery of implement, and he will never curious to do it, and men or women both will try to find someone else. which is not Legalistic. and for further knowledge contact me  

  68. Sumit says:

    I would obviously like to have a virgin wife, but ………..I will not think about it, neither will I ask this question ever to her. I would want her to make my present and future beautiful. 

    Suggestion to all- Take the scale down to zero level when you marry. Consider it as a start of life without thinking or doubting of what would have happened earlier. This would help you to have a successful marriage and a healthy living. 

    God Bless all…. 

  69. Sameer says:

    I don’t like to have relationship with a non virgin girl.But there can be always exception..I mean..if a girl has sex with many mens for fun, then she is nothing but a Bitch.If she had sex with one man before and that relationship was broken because of some reason like..may be that guy was not good and she knew it later.And this girl loves me more, then may be i can accept this non virgin girl.I don’t respect those girls/womens who have sex with many mens for fun.

  70. asoka1971 says:

    Some people do not have sex not marriage reasons but for religious reasons (Dhyana Yoga – Bhagawad Gita). It is known as celibacy.
    In marriage in the past it was expected for women to be virgin and men to be gentlemen.
    When people try to attain perfection they try to control their body and one such way is to attain control of sex. That is known as celibacy.

  71. Moralirra says:

    One thing that distresses me as a western woman is the way American girls give it away so easily!!!  I wish younger women would respect themselves enough to say no–as if losing a boy who only wants sex is a big deal.  It is not–another, better man will come along.  I enjoy Indian films because they do not have gratuitous sex scenes like American films.  Lately though, I’ve been seeing some Indian films where the girls hardly wear anything.  Ugh!  Boring!!  I can watch an American film to see that.  Girls–keep it until you love someone; guys–respect girls.  I would add, however, that being a non-virgin is not the end of the world.  Just don’t give it away all the time. 

  72. Arushi says:

    Quite late to this topic (almost 3 months) … still thought of penning my views. But before that, its quite interesting to read everyone’s opinion below. Majority of the views only talked about how a girl is not loyal or low in moral value or in short basically characterless if she believes in or indulges in a physical relationship before marriage.  I think the question should have been “Would you prefer a virgin even if you are not one?” cos quite frankly this should be a matter of not just what you want but what you are willing to follow as a personal choice. Not saying that all men who want a virgin bride are in reality a womanizers, but in majority of the cases (and raging hormones to be kept in consideration) a man would jump at a chance at an experience of such nature. Then why chastise a women?!
    Second, if the point of having a virgin spouse is to make sure they are “loyal” in their marriage, then what about past affairs/relationship? Going by the same argument what stops a person having had relationship before marriage to have an extramarital affair later?
    If we as a  generation have accepted relationship before marriage or at least are coming to terms with it, something completely unheard of and tabooed in our parents generation, why still stick to virginity?
    Third, with more and more men and women now paying more attention to their career before getting married leading to late marriages (well past 25-26 yrs) can you really expect them to “save” themselves for their spouse? Do you really want to?
    For me its compatibility with the your spouse …..irrespective of their past …. to be considered
    In the end …..Western influence or not… with changing structure of our society in tuned with the changing times … we would pretty soon be asking question like “what should be the acceptable age to lose your viginity”

  73. wikiwiki says:

    Iam like 24 year old male with virtually no Social contact with girls, so i would rather prefer a non-virgin so that she could ‘guide’ me and avoid going through choppy waters that new unexperienced couples go through. 

  74. pramod says:

    if i cum 2 know it before marriage i wont,,,,,but ill avoid that question,i think its love that can make u more happy,..